What size is this thing?

Growth, while necessary, can be painful.  My last baby brother grew too quickly and as a result, he suffers chronic knee pain.  It was a natural process but somewhere along the line his body wasn’t quite ready for the physical change facilitated by nature.

My body is done growing, at least upwards anyways.  No, the growth I’m referring to is mental and spiritual and at times, it seems a tad bit tight.  See, if you’ve been following along you know that you don’t really know me.  Don’t feel bad, no one does and the reason that is, is because I’m a private person.  I’m painfully private.  Took me years to be obedient to share my gift and even this is anxiety filled.  I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my -ish.  That being said, you can’t hide your light forever because eventually the flames get too big and too hot.

The flames are proving too much for me and my bush is about singed to the core so up I stand, again, to share the shine of my light, as we all should.  The use of one’s gift involves sharing and that is not something I was familiar with as a child.  Having to learn that process as an adult proved a little difficult.  No, you may not have any of mine, I will get you your own – was my philosophy.  We all know that is not how it’s supposed to be, but hey, I’m a WIP.

Today, I grew, twice.  I reached out and so far, what I thought, desired and imagined would happen, happened.  Now, that’s not to say that things can’t go far to the left but what I’m learning is that it’s not really me that’s growing but my faith.  It feels weird because you hear people talk about it but you can’t recall it ever happening to you.  Oh, it’s happened before but in our preoccupation with (insert whatever) we may have missed it.  I know I have, did and do.  But not this time.  I know we get hesitant when things start to flow so easily.  It’s like running or riding down hill.  You want to take advantage of the momentum but you don’t want to crash and burn either.  Thus my current dilemma.  The Word says, every good and perfect gift comes from the L-rd.  The Word says, pray without ceasing. What The Word doesn’t tell you is when it will come or what it will look like.  Man, I wish my grandparents were alive, they’d know exactly what it looks like but it is not their faith that needs the growth.  No, babygirl has to do this walk on her own, no earthly assistance and that sucks but I got this.

I’m an ambivert with more introvert tendencies but 10 out of 10 people think I’m an extrovert and that is because I’m good at what I do, whatever I’m doing at that time.  I’m a Jack(queline) of all trades and a master of nothing because there is only one Master.  I’m grateful for this growth, as uncomfortable as it is and will be, I’m sure things will level out.  I read that before walking the red carpet, some female celebrities of the curvier nation will put on several layers of Spanx to achieve that glass smooth finish.  Right now, I feel like I’m wearing a waist trainer, the entire collection of Spanx, Assets, corsets and ace bandages ever made.  But like the diamond and the pearl, it takes a lot of grit to get that glory.  I’ll take small breaths.

I read somewhere or heard it somewhere that, and I’m paraphrasing here – the more afraid you are to do something, the more you need to do it.  Now that is all relative but I think in my case it’s true.  Too bad I can’t use Biofreeze or Arnica gel for this pain.  Where is that McDonald’s straw?

Little Golden Book

Over the weekend I attended a networking event and I must say, it was a drive and time well spent, given that I had not attended such an event in quite a while, it was long overdue. I encountered a quote/tweet/FB post from that event that reminded me of a story. The message was this…Don’t beg for support. Marinate on that for a minute, if you will. Don’t beg for support. 4 little words, so powerful. Reminded me of a story…The Little Red Hen.

The Little Red Hen is the story of a hen on a farm who finds some wheat grains and asks for help to plant, mill, tend, harvest, bake and ultimately eat the wheat/bread. The cat, dog and duck all empathically decline to assist Little Red Hen… “Not I” they each replied when she asked “Who will help me?”. It is not until all the work has been done and the result is a nice hot loaf of fresh, organic wheat bread, that the cat, dog and duck go from negative to positive, with an “I will.” To their surprise, Little Red Hen gives them the business and eats all the bread herself. Moral of the story…those who show no willingness to contribute to a product do not deserve to enjoy the product. Now, that moral is stretching it a bit because we all aren’t really able to contribute to all the products we like, which is why we pay for them but the point is, Little Red Hen was begging for support and it wasn’t until the very end, when all the hard work had been finished that others were willing to help her. Come to think of it, I think Little Red Hen was the original Keith Sweat 🙂

We were created to be supportive; a help meet/mate but somewhere in the industrial millenia, being supportive became de classe, taboo for some reason. When we see a person doing well, why shouldn’t we offer to spread the word, lend a hand or do whatever we can in support of that person, if it is within you to do so? What is to be lost by you telling a friend about the good works of another? Are we so prideful and envious that we cannot be bothered to part our lips to enlighten someone about the goings on of an up and coming friend?

Things blow up, become successful, shoot off the charts based on one thing… word of mouth. Somebody either bought it or had it given to them, liked it and either told someone else or that someone else saw it and wanted to have it and thus the cycle of success begins and continues. Women of all sizes couldn’t stop talking about Spanx and look at Sarah Blakely now. Imagine if no one ever said anything about the magic body enhancers, where would she be today? We all need support, in some form or another, it doesn’t cost you anything to tell someone about what someone else is doing. Are you jealous because you aren’t doing it? Well, maybe you were meant to do something else. Who knows, the person you tell might be interested and that could lead to another mutually beneficial relationship. Poor Little Red Hen, she was begging for help days on end with that wheat but in the end, her revenge was sweet or at least hot and fresh. At times I’ve found myself donning my Little Red Hen cape, looking with Pound Puppy eyes for others to support me by telling a friend but alas, like Little Red Hen, I was greeted with “Not I” albeit silent/lack of action responses.

Who will help me? Is there not a one? Judging from that quote/tweet/FB post, apparently there IS not a one. Sad, because success, like food, is best when shared.

Who wants more bread?