Polar Bear hair is not white, it is transparent.

Some of my most effective memories have come by way of conversations, comments or experiences by, with or from friends. It’s true what they say that when you minister to someone else, you’re really ministering to yourself. Every lesson, moral and bright side that you point out to someone else applies to yourself one way or another. We are each others mirror.

We all “go through” and some “go through” better than others. My cousin, bless her heart, when her troubles get heavy, she wears it like she fresh from the makeup counter. I joke on her that she looks like somebody stole her bike, dog and bag lunch. While we never really know what people are going through, we all, at some point, I believe want to be transparent but “Lifting the Veil” takes courage and let’s face it, everybody, that includes the lifter, isn’t ready for what lurks behind curtain number 1.

During the conversation turned lesson with my friend, I could feel the veil being lifted, theirs and mine. Sure we’ve had conversations before but this, this was a post graduate, specialty courses. Have you ever been engaged with someone and the energy exchange was so even that the only reason you knew time was passing is because the lighting was changing? It’s my drug of choice – a good energy exchange. One where each person has something to offer, not that the offer has to be matched or one-up’d, but the fact that one person isn’t just taking. Initially I felt like I was just taking but as they continued to teach, they would, at times, struggle to articulate their thoughts but I was so in tune with them that I was actually able to or in a round about way, put into words what they were trying to convey. During our – my lesson, they said something to me that you may have heard of but was so new to me… G-d told them “I cannot use someone else’s fire.” And when they said it, they knew exactly what it referred to and what it meant. I felt myself go flush with envy and I did not hide it. I lifted my veil and asked every interrogatory I could think of and they did their best to oblige me. Wanting to know more, I Snappled the verse and found the entire verse and I do believe that they believe they have the fire within them, this is why the peacefulness and ease of “Lifting the Veil” was happening and I don’t even think they nor I were fully aware of it.

I’ve always believed and still do believe that I have the fire within me. Problem is my fire is sometimes like a backdraft – you’ve seen the movie. Converlessons like this is the fresh oxygen and my heart, head are the airtight spaces. When the energy exchange is onesided, umm yeah, it gets Hot in Hurr. Throughout the next day I reflected on the converlesson and did a self-exam to see if I had used or was using someone else’s fire. Before the critical examination could fully get underway, a thought came to me; don’t we all use someone else’s fire at some point in our lives? Consider everything we have. Everything has been improved upon, tweaked, reinvented, New and Improved to the point where originality has no true origin. America invented using someone else’s fire (a post for another time). Maybe we aren’t meant to use someone else’s fire but does taking/borrowing (you can always give it back) a hot coal to start your own fire mean the fire you start isn’t yours? We all need help – despite my best efforts to prove this adage wrong – we do. It doesn’t come when we exactly want it, look like what we want it to look like nor function the way we want it to function but it is what we need, help.

I believe my friend has her own fire and I believe that they know it or at least they know it now. Me? Yes, I believe I have my own fire but talk about a runaway blaze. My veil has been scorched and singed but for the most part is transparent enough for you to see through and no, you don’t have to strain. Some may say I hide behind the anonymity of the internet but there’s no hiding, you all know who I am, this is my “Lifting the Veil” and besides everybody knows if you read it on the internet it HAS to be true.

We all have our own fire and each is unique in the brightness, intensity and area it burns but burn within us it does. The question is will the fire consume you or create you?

Smoker 1 says “Can I bum a cigarette?”
Smoker 2 obliges.
Few seconds later
Smoker 1 “Can I get a light?”
Smoker 2 “What you want me to smoke it for you too?
So you CAN use someone else’s fire huh?

Creatively and Openly Insane

Anyone who is creative and honest with themselves will tell you, it is hard being a genius. No, I’m not full of myself nor do I have an inflated ego. Being creative comes with a unique set of challenges that most find, irritating. For me, the insanity is the drought season. Oh, I have plenty to say and write about but for some reason when I’m done, it’s not to my liking. A chef will slowly add seasonings, careful not to overdo it, less they be left with something too salty, sweet or worse, downright inedible.

When I have pen to paper or fingers to keys, I chuckle about the struggles of Mozart, Beethoven, Michaelangelo and Michael Jackson; I can only imagine what that creative insanity looked like but I totally get the passion. Some may think I’m a flake, not serious about my craft because I go for extended periods of time without writing. Writing is a daily presence for me, it is the sharing that drives me insane. See, sharing requires acknowledging and accepting a certain level of vulnerability and let’s be honest, vulnerability isn’t high up on the list of things to do, but do it we must. I struggle with vulnerability. As an artist I’m sensitive about my ish and as such leery of sharing but hiding ones light under a bush creates nothing but a brush fire. Some will get and accept it, some won’t and it’s all good, as long as your light is shining it’s not for everyone to see. I think I need to go to hoarders anonymous, I hoard my talent/gift, plenty of people do and it’s all because we either can’t be or won’t allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

Jesus was vulnerable. Can’t get any more vulnerable than naked on a cross and yet there he hung, praying for those who hung him. Yeah, I’m not there…yet. I understand the need for and appreciate what being vulnerable can do for myself and someone else. Dr. Maya Angelou (God rest her soul) said “If you get, give. If you learn, teach.” Well, I’ve been given much and gave a lot. I’ve learned much but haven’t taught as much as I should. Teaching requires a certain level of vulnerability but the result is a light that shines bright for the whole world to see.

I must remember that what was given to me was done so that I might give it away. So glad we aren’t known for brush fires in VA.