Do people still use the library?

Hypocrisy is not lost on politicians.  Us regular folk can be guilty of it as well, take yours truly, for example.  Yes, I know, I was just as shocked as you are.  As well as I know and understand the basic rule of life, maintaining the consistent practice of it is the bane of my existence.

I have to chuckle at myself (me chuckle, not you!) because I see my behavior and I can hear and feel the ultimate “Really”/side-eye from Jesus and it is those moments when I’m glad I’m not really in charge.  Sensitive people (overly sensitive people) should never be in charge of something like that.  We might not express it but our body language (and all things unspoken) screams “How dare you!”  No passive aggression just pure aggressive dismissal, passively.  Does that even make sense to me?  lol

See, I tend to stop talking when people upset me.  I do this to prevent my mouth from running in the moment.  Like Vince Lombardi, I’m highly emotional.  Quick to tears, quick to praise and given that tendency, it’s best to not say anything, for however long that may be.  I get why others don’t get it.  I had someone ask me – “What does that accomplish?”  For you, nothing, for me, lots.  I don’t do it for you, I do it for me.  Appreciate that fact that I may like/respect you enough to stop talking and resume at a later date.  Sure, I can oblige you and keep talking but experience has taught me that that particular road is best left untraveled.

I know it can be mind-boggling for most but only to those who don’t know me.  Those who do, know, eventually, I’ll come around.  No, this isn’t the most adult approach (did I give you the impression I was an adult?? 🙂 ) but it works.  If it doesn’t work for you well, I’m glad I’m not tasked with the responsibility of judging and I’m glad you aren’t either.

I know what ails me, and I work on it everyday.  Most of the time, I do it in silence. This is about as loud as it gets.  Shhhh!
What ails ya?

Tainted Offering – Advent Season Day 1

Day 1 Our Tainted Offering (from Fr. Robert Barron)
“Advent is the season where we prepare for the coming of the Savior and we don’t need a Savior unless we’re deeply convinced there is something to be saved from.” Fr. Robert Barron

Wow, never looked at it that way before. Every day, someone, somewhere is a savior. People who give blood, people and families who donate organs, people who donate time, money or gifts. All of them can, in some way, be called a savior because in some small, earthly (human) way, they are saving someone from something or at least trying to. We even try to save ourselves and sometimes we are successful and other times we are just making our “rescue” more difficult that what it needs to be.

As the world prepares to enter into “The most wonderful time of the year”, stop for a few minutes and ask yourself, “What am I preparing for?” Last week, many were preparing for the traditional Thanksgiving Day feast. Just last night, many were preparing for the start of another work week. In both instances, there may have been something forgotten, missed, overlooked and someone or something saved the day. I myself, seeking inspiration in preparing to write about my Advent season was saved by Fr. Robert Barron.

We are all, in my opinion saviors because we have the power to rescue others and even ourselves from circumstances. In doing so, we, IMHO, are the closest to embodying the “image and likeness of G-d”. We all, at some point tie on our capes and dash out the door in our best Captain Save’m impression to do what we need and/or maybe don’t want to – be a savior – for somebody in need.

I visited my grandmother last night and she is a world class instigator. She talks just to keep her lungs and lips working and boy can she get you riled up. She got my uncle riled up last night about his relationship with is son. My uncle, being drawn into the light (Carolanne), was doing his best to defend his decision to not be a savior for his adult son since he is a savior for his grandson. As my grandmother continued to poke the bear and the bear (my uncle) grew more agitated and me and my mother chuckling the entire time; my uncle said something that struck me, he said that his son didn’t deserve anything (my grand was admonishing him for not getting his adult son Christmas gifts). True, my cousin’s behavior may not warrant the effort and spending of hard earned money, I had to reflect on those words because what does it really mean to deserve something? One definition lists it as: verb – do something or have or show qualities worthy of (reward or punishment). Hmm, I don’t know about you (my best preacher voice) but there are times when I’ve deserved reward and times when I’ve deserved punishment. Rarely are they received in a timely manner but then again maybe that’s a good thing. What do you deserve: respect, life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and why do we feel so deserving? Maybe it’s because G-d is so deserving and since we ARE created in his “image and likeness” like Father, like son, eh! But let’s not get carried away because remember, the Son was undeserving of what he received, so let us be mindful of our words when we bang our gavel of justice in deciding who or what is deserving.

Pass me not O gentle Savior
Hear my humble cry
While, on others thou art calling
Do not pass me by

You don’t have to tell me.

You don’t have to tell me.
Every now and again I must check myself and attempt to remove the obtrusive spec from my tightly slanted eye(s). Being a Capricorn, a true Capricorn but that on-the-cusp stuff, I often engage or what others perceive as authoritarianism. I believe that my way is the best way and as history has shown, it usually is. Ok, there was that time that my car got flooded because I was out getting my hair done in a hurricane and the time I cracked my windshield trying to kill a bug, but whatever, I’m talking real stuff.

Disappointment is right around the corner, we all know that, but when it runs into you or you into it, who’s sadder? These people I know have, what I term a SER (side-eye relationship). Every time someone asks me about it, I must SE to keep from uttering negativity and yes, I’m well aware that is an unG-dly behavior and I’m working on it, hence this post. Sardines and Ice Cream is what I call them and yes, like their namesakes, they – in my opinion – do not go together either. I don’t care for Sardines, never have, so as you can imagine, that makes it all the more easier and justifiable (my world) to try to tweeze out the spec. But today, I went inward and saw or I attempted to see things from Sardines perspective and I think Sardines is probably full of disappointments. Disappointment in all the things they can’t do for Ice Cream. But here’s the thing, at some point, when does a person have to take responsibility for the change or lack thereof that they desire? True, I am not there 98 percent of the time but that 2 percent leaves a whole lot to be desired. I reflected on this today when Ice Cream was being tended to by Mountain Spring. I stated, out loud and critically something about Sardines not being around or expecting them to be around, something like that and then it hit me; did I really need to throw salt in the wound? Yup cuz Sardines is quite frankly, lazy and I can see that with, without and around the spec. Observation, not judgment or criticism. All that withstanding, I’m sure Sardines feels a profound sense of failure and disappointment in regards to Ice Cream and probably vice versa but you know I don’t care for Sardines, so not really feeling sympathetic BUT I’m working on my spec. I, by no means want anyone to be what I want them to be, no. What I want is for them to be involved, active, engaged, anything that will effect change for their betterment not my own. I now see Sardines with more compassion. I imagine it is quite a heavy burden to carry but why stumble around in the dark when you have the power and means to turn on the light?

Down goes Frazier

You didn’t have to stoop so low… Guess that I don’t need that though. Now your just somebody that I used to know. (Gotye)

Remember when you found out there was no Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy weren’t real either. If you were anything like me, you felt a little less than genuine towards those who had perpetrated the fraud for so many years. As I grew up, I realized that it wasn’t about the image itself but the fact that it was about having faith. Well, the same thing can be, I believe applied to friendships, work relationships, etc. It can be pretty disheartening when a situation occurs and the behavior and actions of another are in complete contrast to what you would have ever expected. Oh, I see. We aren’t what I thought we were. We aren’t at a place where judgment and criticism have no place, instead you seat them at the head of our table and allow them to devour me as the main course. How naïve of me to think that after X amount of years that while we are by no means BFFs, being Fs was definitely in the forefront of my mind. Guess that F has now been replaced by F and S. Anytime there are cracks in a ship, they should be addressed quickly unless it is a ship that is beyond repair and collecting the insurance money is the best way to go. I’m pretty much known for trying to keep the peace, but sometimes peace just needs to be peace, as in deuces. I was taken aback and hurt by the response but as the word teaches, so a man thinketh, so is he in his heart. My husband had to explain the term Monday Morning Quarterbacking to me a while ago and that is not something one should ever do. If ever presented a problem or dilemma by someone, I would hope that you would have enough compassion to hear the person, listen to what they were saying and offer some sound and encouraging words. Not share what you would have done. Having received that negative response from you, I know now what I should have done and what I will do from now on; never consult you on anything every again. Don’t be THAT person. If you don’t want to be helpful, politely say so, but why belittle the person with what they already know. Don’t stoop so low because a blow like that can cause a weaker person to be down for the count. @notbrokenjustbent

Avon calling.

Hello Dear Friend,

I hope this letter finds you in a state that is most agreeable with you, your spirit and state of life. Yes, I know it’s been a while since we last spoke, but I’m writing to tell you of the happenings in my life. I cannot tell you how busy and hectic it has become. Please know that I am no slacker and I take my work (writing) very seriously. I will post no reason or rhyme before its time. 🙂 Splitting care-giver duties while maintaining my obligation to God, self and Social Security has left me with additional page filled notebooks, empty ink pens, pencils down to the metal but little time to share. Today, I offer you my most sincerest apologies and will make an effort to do better. In the meantime, please enjoy this small gift, as a token of my appreciation for your continued support.

Always, your friend in pen,

EJ

——-
In my book Thread for Mending a Broken Soul, I wrote a passage about “They”. You know those sayings that are preceded with ‘well you know what they say’. I was always perplexed by the statement because as a child growing up, I wanted to know who “they” were because “they” seemed to know everything.

“They” say, it’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game. Well, what if you never really knew how to play? As for winning and losing, baseball dispels this theory with each replacement of a pitcher. It is the only profession where multiple people can be fired and replaced on the spot, and in public view no less.

“They” say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Actually, Nietzsche said this, but did he consider Newton’s Third Law ‘to every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction’. While circumstances, trials and tribulations make us strong in some, if not all areas/aspects of life, what has been weakened as a result of us having auditioned for the role of Atlas? (who by the way held up the sky, not the earth – but still a hard job).

“They” say, sticks and stones may break my bones but words/names will never hurt me. “They” need to tell that to all the people who suffer from verbal assault and abuse.

“They” say, in America, there are 3 things you never discuss/talk about: Money/Sex (depending on whose doing the talking), Politics and Religion. I’m guessing the reason “They” say this is because when it comes to politics and religion, “They” are so busy trying to convince the listener that he/she is wrong for their choice. As for money, people may not know exactly how much a person makes, but you can pretty much (but not always – keep that in mind) surmise the tax bracket a person may fall in if you interact with them enough to see the fruits of their labor. As for sex, well, if you are having it, do you really need to talk about it and if you aren’t, do you really want to talk about it?

“They” said and still say lots of things. I’ve always shied away from “They” because I don’t know them so I can’t be sure their repository of knowledge is legit. For all I know, “They” could be like me or you, someone who has the gift of word manipulation, a Shakespearean Jim Jones, ladling up all the literary Kool-Aid one can drink.

KANPAI!