Ivy Rose through the potholes

Race Recap!

Greetings sports fans.  This past Sunday the L-rd saw fit to allow me and few hundred of his most perfect creations compete in the Ramblin Rose-Raleigh Triathlon.  I was so excited because the day before I spend a sweltering 4-hours in the pool at a TI swim clinic, desperately trying to improve my stroke and prepare me for OWS.  I love the clinic, coach Brian and Dinah were awesome.

Sunday/Race Day and I was as ready as ever.  I always race solo, not by choice but my local circle of support does not race so I’m left to make race-day buddies.  This race let you do your swim start selection the day of and I chose 6 – I was feeling pretty confident but didn’t want to go all Kanye, so 6 felt right.  As I made my way to the back of the line – yep, I was in no rush and I wanted to put my new swim skills in action, I met the nicest women.  We chatted like old buds and agreed to stay connected via FB.

My swim went great but of course, forgot to start my Garmin – ugh, so there goes my real time because the run from the swim to T1 was what seemed like a 1/4 mile run.  It’s not much but barefoot and on concrete, well, my toes are sensitive.  Even with all my primping, I still got out in around 2 mins and was off on the bike.  I was feeling pretty, pretty, pretty good (Larry David voice) until the hills.  See, here in VA we don’t have many hills, at least not in the 757 and yes, it showed.  I’d been experiencing left-quad pain for a few weeks now but it would come and go so frequently that I never addressed it.  Needless to say, the 2 y/o inside my quad showed up at the steepest hill of the race.  It was something out of a viral video.  At first it was a small whine, then it started to flail and kick and then the dreaded scream, I HATE YOU erupted.  I had to dismount my bike and walk it up the hill.  I tried, I really did but if I wanted to finish, I had to cater to the 2 y/o and see what the issue was.  Once back on the bike, it settled down and got itself together and despite a few more, but slightly less steep hills, the 2 y/o was quite for the rest of the ride.  The ride was…interesting.  Never have I seen sooo many potholes.  Ramblin is right because going downhill at oh, say 25 mph with a slew of potholes is not my idea of fun but I made it, no worse for the course.

T2 was around 2 min as well and I forgot my hat 😦

The run was a 2 loop, finish line teaser but the next best part of the race was the aid station.  There was this one volunteer who made each runner feel like an absolute ROCK STAR, seriously.  It was exactly what I needed coming off that tantrum ride. I’ve never had so much fun running down the shoot and I was complimented on finishing the race in long sleeves (I have to have my jacket on for my sweat wipes).  I was happy but of course, there’s always something waiting to try and snatch the joy away.

People post so much it’s crazy and the posting can take away from an athletes ability to fully enjoy their race because the world gets to “see” what they experienced before the athlete does.  I was bummed about that because, you all know I’m pretty private about things but I wanted to enjoy my race and share what I wanted but alas, that too did pass and I got out of my feelings.

I didn’t get the names of my swimline friends but and never thought I’d say this but thank G-d for FB because I found them off a post someone else made.  It made my day to see them and reconnect with them.

This past weekend saw several #RealAthleticWomen bloom at the Ramblin Rose and yes, the smell of success was oh so sweet.

Do people still use the library?

Hypocrisy is not lost on politicians.  Us regular folk can be guilty of it as well, take yours truly, for example.  Yes, I know, I was just as shocked as you are.  As well as I know and understand the basic rule of life, maintaining the consistent practice of it is the bane of my existence.

I have to chuckle at myself (me chuckle, not you!) because I see my behavior and I can hear and feel the ultimate “Really”/side-eye from Jesus and it is those moments when I’m glad I’m not really in charge.  Sensitive people (overly sensitive people) should never be in charge of something like that.  We might not express it but our body language (and all things unspoken) screams “How dare you!”  No passive aggression just pure aggressive dismissal, passively.  Does that even make sense to me?  lol

See, I tend to stop talking when people upset me.  I do this to prevent my mouth from running in the moment.  Like Vince Lombardi, I’m highly emotional.  Quick to tears, quick to praise and given that tendency, it’s best to not say anything, for however long that may be.  I get why others don’t get it.  I had someone ask me – “What does that accomplish?”  For you, nothing, for me, lots.  I don’t do it for you, I do it for me.  Appreciate that fact that I may like/respect you enough to stop talking and resume at a later date.  Sure, I can oblige you and keep talking but experience has taught me that that particular road is best left untraveled.

I know it can be mind-boggling for most but only to those who don’t know me.  Those who do, know, eventually, I’ll come around.  No, this isn’t the most adult approach (did I give you the impression I was an adult?? 🙂 ) but it works.  If it doesn’t work for you well, I’m glad I’m not tasked with the responsibility of judging and I’m glad you aren’t either.

I know what ails me, and I work on it everyday.  Most of the time, I do it in silence. This is about as loud as it gets.  Shhhh!
What ails ya?

Day 8 – A New Beginning

“A new creation, some new and unheard of order is emerging out of chaos.” Fr. Robert Barron

In his daily reflection, Fr. Robert Barron notes that “opening lines matter, especially when dealing with a great writer.” THAT is such a true statement. First words matter. I won’t say they can make or break you but they can certainly cause you equal amounts of joy and pain. As a great writer, IMHO, it’s important for me to peak your interest right from the start, hence my use of weirdly unassociated titles/headings at times. It’s all relative but in my own way. People often talk about new beginnings but I doubt if we really give much thought as to what it really means. If we did, we’d need less therapy to help deal with/get over the past.

At night, when we retire to bed, this, I believe, is the start of our new beginning. Our bodies and mind, hopefully are at rest and thus in the process of rejuvenating themselves to prepare us for a new creation (day) because regardless to what we see and think, this day is unlike any other. There are those who say the bible is just a story and that I don’t argue, for it is the best storybook ever written, IMHO, but is it really just a story? If it is, the writer(s) definitely is The GOAT because from Apostolic to Atheist, it seems everyone has read the story or some parts thereof and in that, the writer(s) achieved their goal. They got you to turn the page. Sucker!!!

Ribs (Broken; no slaw, no sauce)

In preparation for Lent; a free mind is a wonderful thing!

“I’m all right, I’m all right
It only hurts, when I breathe”
(Melissa Etheridge)

When I first heard this song, I could sing along with it after just that initial hearing. The imagery really made my brain pulse. Aside from grunting out those last few reps at the gym or that silent (you’re mother popped you so hard that the audible reaction is trapped deep between your vocal chords and the part of the brain that allows you to react) cry; we don’t have to think about breathing. I imagine, just based on my own analysis of the lyrics and earthly application and interpretation, that those who commit suicide must feel this way. One theory I have is, since breathing is controlled by the brain, it must be something in the brain causing undue ache on the respiratory system. Burdens, ideas, thoughts, memories, responsibilities, fears, failures, achievements, slurs, anything negative or positive, etc.,, that the brain can hold on to can put pressure on us, making it difficult to breathe.

Free your mind and the rest will follow (En Vogue). Freedom, the way to it is often difficult and lengthy. But if one could somehow ease the difficulty along the journey, why not take it? The bible talks a great deal about confession and how doing so will set you free. We all, believers and non-believers need to confess and we do, just not enough. Confess means “to bemoan something by the wringing of the hands” and also “to throw away.” Most of us, when worried, concerned or preoccupied with a matter, often complain (bemoan) about it and demonstrate our frustrations by positioning our arms/hands in various positions (wringing of the hands) until we realize that whatever is troubling us is either beyond our control or nothing can be done about it at that particular time so we move on (throw away). If you’re a decent person, and I know those who read this are :), your conscience prods you to confess, regardless of how big or small the offense/issue. Confession isn’t always about the big things either – stealing, lying, cheating, killing. No, confession is, as I apply it, saying/acknowledging anything that would weigh you down. Example – losing a job can cause one to feel a great deal of shame and guilt. That shame and guilt can lead to depression, which can lead to feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness because it’s so hard to get back up when life has knocked you down. Instead of asking for help (confessing that you need help, that you feel how you feel, have a right to feel the way you feel and throwing our hands up and saying enough!) we, in proper military fashion, put our feelings/actions to bed with all the corners and edges tightly tucked in, ensuring nothing escapes.

Did you know that it is said that after age 30 your brain shrinks? So, if you’re over 30, you’re responsibilities, actions, feelings, etc., have increased and now the place you store them is getting smaller. Are you a candidate for Hoarders? I wholeheartedly believe in the phrase “getting something off your chest” because the rising and falling of the chest (outside of machine assisted) is the indication that one still has natural breath. So while you still have breath, get those things off your chest and mind. Yelled at someone at the light, in anger, called someone a name or wished something bad upon them and felt bad afterwards? Apologize. You may or may not be able to apologize in person (but if you can, you should try) but you put it out there. You acknowledged that maybe you didn’t handle it the way you would have liked or said something in anger that you shouldn’t have said. Having trouble meeting your responsibilities, having marital, financial or family difficulties?, tell someone. Don’t trust anyone enough?, then say them out loud (God and the universe won’t judge you, tell your business, look at you funny or think less of you). Sit in the car, go in the closet, bathroom or anywhere you can be alone and just spill your guts and get it off your chest and mind. Free your mind so it will no longer hurt when you breathe.

“So tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
I’m sick of all the insincere
So I’m gonna give all my secrets away”
(One Republic – Secrets)

Is that all? #confusedface

I’m really not the type to say I told you so, but after the word I heard Sunday 2/3/13 –
(Dr. S.D. Nelson @Abyssinia Baptist Church gave the business!) –
this TOLD YA! (little kid voice) feels all right.

“This ain’t a feel good everything’s fine sing-along. You got the wrong song” (Nashville)

I, am greedy. Yep, I said it. Greeeeedddddyyy. Yes, I know it’s a sin, but let me explain before you condemn me to spend eternity picking up cigarette butts from the side of the road with a pair of mini tweezers, wearing a bear suit costume in the middle of summer in Phoenix. Ahem (in clergy voice), turn with me to Luke 17: 7-10, you nonbelievers too!

The text talks about being a servant. Now, we all know this country was built on the backs of servants, so we all know the meaning of servant and serve. We are all servants. Everyday we serve (whatever you do for a living, you’re serving) and the majority of the time, by the time we get home, we are all served out. You get off work, you want to go home and relax, go to happy hour and relax, whatever it is you want to do when you get off you want to be the Master because you’ve been serving all day long and you are tired. Ahhh, but your service is just getting started. The service of the servant must be sustained – meaning, don’t nobody care how hard you worked all day, all I know is, when you get home, I want my time, your service to me and vice versa. You parents know what I’m talking about. Work all day, kids don’t care nothing about the work you brought home, they want to play. You owe them your service. When you don’t sustain your service you are neglecting those you are supposed to serve and that just ain’t right SMH. If you’re at a restaurant and the server neglects you, you would likely complain to the manager. In order to maintain a steady flow of good tips, the server must sustain by maintaining a steady flow of service.

Same applies in relationships, whatever kind of ship they may be. A servant (us) whose service (working, spending time, kissing, hugging, laundry, cooking, cleaning, reading books, giving baths, wiping noses, doing hair, etc) is not sustained (reciprocated where applicable – paycheck and all the above) may soon seek other employment. We get haughty because we want recognition for our service. Huh? You want me to acknowledge and give you credit for something you’re SUPPOSED TO DO? Human service is owned by 7-11; open 24/7.

The service you give someone else is of no benefit to me, I need my own and vice versa. The service you gave your employer is irrelevant when it comes to service to your spouse, kids, family, church, community, etc. and vice versa. Don’t care what kind or how much service (time, energy, etc.) you gave (fill in the blank). Whuhdatgottodowitme? (2Chainz voice) I was so busy at work, I didn’t get to eat lunch – and? I had to go check out something then go do something for my mom/kids/church – and? We went out the other day – and? “You gotta get yours but fool I gotta get mine” (Snoop)

I know it may sound and seem a bit harsh but it’s the truth and the truth is sometimes harsh. Every one and every thing requires its own service.

What I/you/they ate and drank yesterday will not, can not sustain me/you/them for today and the same goes for the service. I’ve been saying that for years! I KNEW I was right (fist pump/swing in the air, Ray Lewis dance!)

Some of us are probably going to, if you haven’t already, be called to the office to talk about our service, or lack thereof. This is not the economy one wants to be unemployed in, soooo, if you’ve had some complaints about your service (given or received) you better get your act together, don’t you ever get to thinking your irreplaceable!

You’re Fired. Garsonu! (finger snap)