Tell me what you want what you really really want.

#whatailsya – Quit beating around the bush. For every question asked, there is an answer that is desired. Are you brave enough to say why you want to know? Give a listen to this video for a new take on questions. Feel free to sing in the tune of Sam Smith – Swaaaaa(y) with me! ūüėÄ

Still waters run?…

It’s a song. ¬†It’s a proverb. ¬†It’s confused. ¬†It’s an oxymoron. ¬†As you may recall, I recently became FB friends with running. ¬†Well, OWS and I are FB, IG and Twitter friends. ¬†We follow each other regularly but our interaction is spotty. ¬†Life Tri lesson #1093: ¬†All water does not swim the same. ¬†Yeah, I’m fully aware of currents, etc., etc., but what completely went over my head was the expectation of said current. ¬†Mmhmm. ¬†No such expectation when swimming in a lake, as I found out this weekend. ¬†Nothing more frustrating than swimming and going nowhere. ¬†There is, at least for me, a difference and the mystery lies in figuring out what and how to tweak it.

My weekend was filled with bumps, bruises, aches, disappointments and lessons. The ride home is never so long as when a race doesn’t go as one hoped. ¬†Adapt, adjust, keep it moving. ¬†Except when you, literally, physically aren’t. ¬†It is laughable now, wasn’t then but a probable reason dawned on me as I stripped out my muddy, wet gear: ¬†Dinkus, you can’t swap training/race gear. ¬†Classic rookie mistake. ¬†That was part of the mental breakdown. ¬†The physical breakdown was mother nature.

Being a woman can be so inconvenient sometimes. ¬†I’m no amateur to this womanhood thing but you can’t control what you can’t see and you just don’t know what or how a period is to be. ¬†Add to that a nice jab to the jaw from my bike fork when unloading my bike and my face bobbed when it should have weaved. ¬†Adrenaline kept me from feeling it then, felt it when I went to put my face in my hand.

My Chaperone, Cheerleader, Carrier was maneuvering rocks, slopes, mud and dog poo and ended up aggravating a knee injury. ¬†Limped along the rest of the weekend, loading that leg in and out of cars, up and down stairs and wherever else it was needed. ¬†This race may have been “picturesque” but the conditions were a bit brutal.

The bright side of all this was/is, my new transition set up worked for me. ¬†It really is the little things. ¬†I prefer my waters running, period. ¬†Even dish water isn’t still. ¬†No one really likes to work harder but at times, it’s what’s called for and it’s what’s called for to address Still Waters. ¬†Trying to move something that is Still obviously requires hard work but once you know the issue, the idea is to work smarter, not harder. ¬†I learned from working hard and not getting the results desired. ¬†Now, time to work smarter. #whatailsya #RealAthleticWoman doing some Real Adjustments.

Customer needs assistance on aisle 3.

In my ethereal thinking, I realize that most folk in the bible, including Jesus were entrepreneurs.  Each were, in their own way doing their own version of kingdom building.  That is how I see entrepreneurship, well, at least that is how I see my own.

Pretty much everyone in the bible had a sidekick. ¬†Yes, some can do it alone and don’t, per se, “need” a sidekick but it’s nice when you know someone else has your back because they hear what you’re saying and can see what you see.

John the Baptist, has to be hands down, the best sidekick, EVER.  He was hyping Jesus up long before he knew who Jesus was Рknew as in, oh yeah, that dude right there.  He was grinding for G-d without being asked or paid.  That type of ride-or-die is like a white elephant nowadays.

I was graced with a glimpse of a modern day John the Baptist, white elephant if you will. ¬†I chuckled because “John” stated several times that “I don’t feel like I did anything” but great service, especially when done out of genuine love and belief in what it is your doing, never feels like “anything”. ¬†We perform our best when, with everything that we are, we believe in what we are doing. ¬†Now, that’s now to say that we shouldn’t always try to do our best but that takes a little more effort than most of us are willing to put in, at least it does for me. ¬†The struggle is real when I’m engaged in something where my head and heart aren’t aligned. ¬†It is then I must remind myself that whatever I’m doing, I’m doing it for the L-rd. ¬†Yeah, that doesn’t always work, sorry, it just doesn’t. ¬†Not going to lie. ¬†I’m working on it though, seriously but man, we humans make it sooo difficult but again, the key word is human. ¬†Often, it is hard to see the good, benefit, use of doing something that we aren’t really keen on doing. ¬†Oh the lessons of sacrifice to be learned in moments such as those.

If you love me, you’ll serve me. ¬†Well, I certainly felt the love yesterday because I was served and served well. ¬†MMS – Modern day John the Baptist, the elusive white elephant trumpeting (crying out) in the wilderness about one he believes in…me.

Home Depot’s slogan is “You can do it. We can help” ¬†I get it. ¬†We all “can” do but man, is it nice when you can get a little help. ¬†A little help goes a long ways and for me, my human help went over 200 miles and not once did they ask, Are we there yet?



What size is this thing?

Growth, while necessary, can be painful.¬† My last baby brother grew too quickly and as a result, he suffers chronic knee pain.¬† It was a natural process but somewhere along the line his body wasn’t quite ready for the physical change facilitated by nature.

My body is done growing, at least upwards anyways.¬† No, the growth I’m referring to is mental and spiritual and at times, it seems a tad bit tight.¬† See, if you’ve been following along you know that you don’t really know me.¬† Don’t feel bad, no one does and the reason that is, is because I’m a private person.¬† I’m painfully private.¬† Took me years to be obedient to share my gift and even this is anxiety filled.¬† I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my -ish.¬† That being said, you can’t hide your light forever because eventually the flames get too big and too hot.

The flames are proving too much for me and my bush is about singed to the core so up I stand, again, to share the shine of my light, as we all should.¬† The use of one’s gift involves sharing and that is not something I was familiar with as a child.¬† Having to learn that process as an adult proved a little difficult.¬† No, you may not have any of mine, I will get you your own – was my philosophy.¬† We all know that is not how it’s supposed to be, but hey, I’m a WIP.

Today, I grew, twice.¬† I reached out and so far, what I thought, desired and imagined would happen, happened.¬† Now, that’s not to say that things can’t go far to the left but what I’m learning is that it’s not really me that’s growing but my faith.¬† It feels weird because you hear people talk about it but you can’t recall it ever happening to you.¬† Oh, it’s happened before but in our preoccupation with (insert whatever) we may have missed it.¬† I know I have, did and do.¬† But not this time.¬† I know we get hesitant when things start to flow so easily.¬† It’s like running or riding down hill.¬† You want to take advantage of the momentum but you don’t want to crash and burn either.¬† Thus my current dilemma.¬† The Word says, every good and perfect gift comes from the L-rd.¬† The Word says, pray without ceasing. What The Word doesn’t tell you is when it will come or what it will look like.¬† Man, I wish my grandparents were alive, they’d know exactly what it looks like but it is not their faith that needs the growth.¬† No, babygirl has to do this walk on her own, no earthly assistance and that sucks but I got this.

I’m an ambivert with more introvert tendencies but 10 out of 10 people think I’m an extrovert and that is because I’m good at what I do, whatever I’m doing at that time.¬† I’m a Jack(queline) of all trades and a master of nothing because there is only one Master.¬† I’m grateful for this growth, as uncomfortable as it is and will be, I’m sure things will level out.¬† I read that before walking the red carpet, some female celebrities of the curvier nation will put on several layers of Spanx to achieve that glass smooth finish.¬† Right now, I feel like I’m wearing a waist trainer, the entire collection of Spanx, Assets, corsets and ace bandages ever made.¬† But like the diamond and the pearl, it takes a lot of grit to get that glory.¬† I’ll take small breaths.

I read somewhere or heard it somewhere that, and I’m paraphrasing here – the more afraid you are to do something, the more you need to do it.¬† Now that is all relative but I think in my case it’s true.¬† Too bad I can’t use Biofreeze or Arnica gel for this pain.¬† Where is that McDonald’s straw?

Do people still use the library?

Hypocrisy is not lost on politicians.  Us regular folk can be guilty of it as well, take yours truly, for example.  Yes, I know, I was just as shocked as you are.  As well as I know and understand the basic rule of life, maintaining the consistent practice of it is the bane of my existence.

I have to chuckle at myself (me chuckle, not you!) because I see my behavior and I can hear and feel the ultimate “Really”/side-eye from Jesus and it is those moments when I’m glad I’m not really in charge.¬† Sensitive people (overly sensitive people) should never be in charge of something like that.¬† We might not express it but our body language (and all things unspoken) screams “How dare you!”¬† No passive aggression just pure aggressive dismissal, passively.¬† Does that even make sense to me?¬† lol

See, I tend to stop talking when people upset me.¬† I do this to prevent my mouth from running in the moment.¬† Like Vince Lombardi, I’m highly emotional.¬† Quick to tears, quick to praise and given that tendency, it’s best to not say anything, for however long that may be.¬† I get why others don’t get it.¬† I had someone ask me – “What does that accomplish?”¬† For you, nothing, for me, lots.¬† I don’t do it for you, I do it for me.¬† Appreciate that fact that I may like/respect you enough to stop talking and resume at a later date.¬† Sure, I can oblige you and keep talking but experience has taught me that that particular road is best left untraveled.

I know it can be mind-boggling for most but only to those who don’t know me.¬† Those who do, know, eventually, I’ll come around.¬† No, this isn’t the most adult approach (did I give you the impression I was an adult?? ūüôā ) but it works.¬† If it doesn’t work for you well, I’m glad I’m not tasked with the responsibility of judging and I’m glad you aren’t either.

I know what ails me, and I work on it everyday.  Most of the time, I do it in silence. This is about as loud as it gets.  Shhhh!
What ails ya?