Sour Grapes – an excerpt from Thread for Mending a Broken Soul

I wrote this in 2002, 2003 during a dark period in my life and in the lives of some of my G-d friends.  Relationships are tough.  Me, my friends, strangers I came into contact with; we were all going through, so I put our misery into words.  This is what evolved.  Hopefully it will help someone.

Why are women so bitter? How many times have you heard that line? Why, are women so bitter?

Funny how it’s always a man asking that questions.  They just don’t understand.  They think bitterness is a 24-hour process.  No honey, that’s not how it works.  It takes time to make a good bitter woman.  It’s a slow process.  A slow, hard, and painful  process.  Let me tell you how it starts.

First, she meets him.  Be he:

Handsome/cute/ok/damn right ugly

Rich/doing ok/making it/barely making it/never made it

Single/attached/married/divorced

Fatherless/1 child/king of procreation

Passive/aggressive/abusive

 

He may have:

A car/a bike/a bus pass/a good friend/several pairs of rocked over shoes

A house/ some houses/an apartment-condo/living with a roommate/living with his mama/living in a box

Higher education/book sense/common sense/the village idot

An addiction/a condition/a fickle disposition

A career/a job/ a hustle/ a cup

Regardless of his plight, there is a woman out there for him.  A good woman.  A good thing.

You meet him. You like him.  You date him.  You fall in love with him.  You live with him. You marry him.  You break up/divorce him.  You hate him.

Somewhere between dating and hating, the process begins.

You think you two are partners.  If one has, the other has.  That’s just the way it is.  A good woman stands beside her man.  You help him build, if he has nothing.  You help him build upon what he has, if he already has something.

You clean him up, if this is the case, or compliment his style with your own stunning grace.  You  help him land a job, sometimes he has two.  He might be financially sound, even better for yo.  If he got kids, you deal with the baby mama drama.  Sometimes he has more than one, that’s a whole other drama.  Life seems pretty good, he’s come a long way  Nothing liek the man he used to be back in the day.

ARE YOU STARTING TO GET A FUNNY TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH?

All of a sudden, life gets a little rough.  You figure, ya’ll will make it, he’s a man, built tough. First the change in attitude, then the coming home late.  Giving all his time to another, always making you wait. Comes home/calls you up one day and says he’s got something to tell you.  Claims he wants to be on his own, you and he are through.

Hold up now, what about all my effort, sweat, tears and time?  What about they years wasted, all my spent dollars, pennies and dimes?

Tsk. Tsk.  THAT TASTE IS GETTING STRONGER.

We support our man, indifferent, good, or bad, but all he can think about it what he could have had.  What he could have had.  Shiiidd, without me, he’d probably have  nothing. Still be trying to keep me quiet, while we’re in the room at his mama’s/roommates/my house fucking.

The tears are starting to flow and snot is starting to drip. Best get your shoes and leave because I may just start to trip.  The day of reckoning is here, had just about all you can stand.  Fed up, exasperated, you take your hand and fan.

It’s not you, it’s me.  Don’t want to be together any more.  I feel used, betrayed, like a common cheap whore.

The process is complete, your bitter woman has been formed

A product of man, a life he did born.

Marvel at the life, that man hath given birth.  The once sweet, now bitter woman, a Man’s greatest work.

 

 

From Thread for Mending a Broken Soul.  #whatailsya

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