Polar Bear hair is not white, it is transparent.

Some of my most effective memories have come by way of conversations, comments or experiences by, with or from friends. It’s true what they say that when you minister to someone else, you’re really ministering to yourself. Every lesson, moral and bright side that you point out to someone else applies to yourself one way or another. We are each others mirror.

We all “go through” and some “go through” better than others. My cousin, bless her heart, when her troubles get heavy, she wears it like she fresh from the makeup counter. I joke on her that she looks like somebody stole her bike, dog and bag lunch. While we never really know what people are going through, we all, at some point, I believe want to be transparent but “Lifting the Veil” takes courage and let’s face it, everybody, that includes the lifter, isn’t ready for what lurks behind curtain number 1.

During the conversation turned lesson with my friend, I could feel the veil being lifted, theirs and mine. Sure we’ve had conversations before but this, this was a post graduate, specialty courses. Have you ever been engaged with someone and the energy exchange was so even that the only reason you knew time was passing is because the lighting was changing? It’s my drug of choice – a good energy exchange. One where each person has something to offer, not that the offer has to be matched or one-up’d, but the fact that one person isn’t just taking. Initially I felt like I was just taking but as they continued to teach, they would, at times, struggle to articulate their thoughts but I was so in tune with them that I was actually able to or in a round about way, put into words what they were trying to convey. During our – my lesson, they said something to me that you may have heard of but was so new to me… G-d told them “I cannot use someone else’s fire.” And when they said it, they knew exactly what it referred to and what it meant. I felt myself go flush with envy and I did not hide it. I lifted my veil and asked every interrogatory I could think of and they did their best to oblige me. Wanting to know more, I Snappled the verse and found the entire verse and I do believe that they believe they have the fire within them, this is why the peacefulness and ease of “Lifting the Veil” was happening and I don’t even think they nor I were fully aware of it.

I’ve always believed and still do believe that I have the fire within me. Problem is my fire is sometimes like a backdraft – you’ve seen the movie. Converlessons like this is the fresh oxygen and my heart, head are the airtight spaces. When the energy exchange is onesided, umm yeah, it gets Hot in Hurr. Throughout the next day I reflected on the converlesson and did a self-exam to see if I had used or was using someone else’s fire. Before the critical examination could fully get underway, a thought came to me; don’t we all use someone else’s fire at some point in our lives? Consider everything we have. Everything has been improved upon, tweaked, reinvented, New and Improved to the point where originality has no true origin. America invented using someone else’s fire (a post for another time). Maybe we aren’t meant to use someone else’s fire but does taking/borrowing (you can always give it back) a hot coal to start your own fire mean the fire you start isn’t yours? We all need help – despite my best efforts to prove this adage wrong – we do. It doesn’t come when we exactly want it, look like what we want it to look like nor function the way we want it to function but it is what we need, help.

I believe my friend has her own fire and I believe that they know it or at least they know it now. Me? Yes, I believe I have my own fire but talk about a runaway blaze. My veil has been scorched and singed but for the most part is transparent enough for you to see through and no, you don’t have to strain. Some may say I hide behind the anonymity of the internet but there’s no hiding, you all know who I am, this is my “Lifting the Veil” and besides everybody knows if you read it on the internet it HAS to be true.

We all have our own fire and each is unique in the brightness, intensity and area it burns but burn within us it does. The question is will the fire consume you or create you?

Smoker 1 says “Can I bum a cigarette?”
Smoker 2 obliges.
Few seconds later
Smoker 1 “Can I get a light?”
Smoker 2 “What you want me to smoke it for you too?
So you CAN use someone else’s fire huh?

You don’t have to tell me.

You don’t have to tell me.
Every now and again I must check myself and attempt to remove the obtrusive spec from my tightly slanted eye(s). Being a Capricorn, a true Capricorn but that on-the-cusp stuff, I often engage or what others perceive as authoritarianism. I believe that my way is the best way and as history has shown, it usually is. Ok, there was that time that my car got flooded because I was out getting my hair done in a hurricane and the time I cracked my windshield trying to kill a bug, but whatever, I’m talking real stuff.

Disappointment is right around the corner, we all know that, but when it runs into you or you into it, who’s sadder? These people I know have, what I term a SER (side-eye relationship). Every time someone asks me about it, I must SE to keep from uttering negativity and yes, I’m well aware that is an unG-dly behavior and I’m working on it, hence this post. Sardines and Ice Cream is what I call them and yes, like their namesakes, they – in my opinion – do not go together either. I don’t care for Sardines, never have, so as you can imagine, that makes it all the more easier and justifiable (my world) to try to tweeze out the spec. But today, I went inward and saw or I attempted to see things from Sardines perspective and I think Sardines is probably full of disappointments. Disappointment in all the things they can’t do for Ice Cream. But here’s the thing, at some point, when does a person have to take responsibility for the change or lack thereof that they desire? True, I am not there 98 percent of the time but that 2 percent leaves a whole lot to be desired. I reflected on this today when Ice Cream was being tended to by Mountain Spring. I stated, out loud and critically something about Sardines not being around or expecting them to be around, something like that and then it hit me; did I really need to throw salt in the wound? Yup cuz Sardines is quite frankly, lazy and I can see that with, without and around the spec. Observation, not judgment or criticism. All that withstanding, I’m sure Sardines feels a profound sense of failure and disappointment in regards to Ice Cream and probably vice versa but you know I don’t care for Sardines, so not really feeling sympathetic BUT I’m working on my spec. I, by no means want anyone to be what I want them to be, no. What I want is for them to be involved, active, engaged, anything that will effect change for their betterment not my own. I now see Sardines with more compassion. I imagine it is quite a heavy burden to carry but why stumble around in the dark when you have the power and means to turn on the light?