I wanna be, I wanna be like…

Can we talk? (Joan River’s voice). Let’s be honest, or at least, let me be honest. Nothing irritates you more than to see someone moving along doing something that you’ve been doing for years. True, jealousy and envy have no place in the Spirit but we build mansions for it in the flesh and sometimes, it’s a good thing – in moderation of course. I’m not competitive, I’ve always believed that whatever you want, the Spirit provides more than enough for everyone to have a go at it. No, what I think is wrong or off balance with me is that I’m spatially challenged. I know how to get to places but I pay no attention to street names, number of turns, none of that, I just go because I know. WHY OH WHY can’t life be that way. I absolutely know where I want to go, getting there seems so completely foreign to me, like those instructions from IKEA (love love love that store!!!)

I’m open, haven’t always been, not because I didn’t want to but because our culture, at times can be so oppressive, so dismissive that you question whether or not you really want to go where you want to go. I do this because the Spirit asks for it and I’m not even sure what that really means. My dad and godmother are prone to messages from the Spirit and yes, I covet that gift. Oh, the Spirit and I, his name is Rheman, have conversations all the time but He’s so quiet, frustratingly quiet. He gets a kick out of me and I’m happy to oblige. I’m like a 3 y/o with him; I ask lots of questions and if I were 3, you’d call me precocious. As an adult, you’ll probably call me annoying, crazy, whatever – not that I care. I’m a kid and kids have questions and I expect answers. Problem arises in that the adult, that is me, wants them now, microwave 30 sec button now. The majority of the time Rheman just nods his head and keeps it moving.

What do I wanna be? Better. Better than I was yesterday when I whined the entire time while getting my run in (you do know I dislike running right?). Better than I was last week when severe disappointment tried to squat in my head and heart. Better than I was last month when I allowed procrastination to move in and push off all the work that needed to be done. Better. Not better than you (although I may be cooler – you know the song 🙂 just better and better requires work. That work often requires assistance from others. I read a commencement speech from a Texas Alum who is a retired Navy Seal and he talked about rowing a boat and finding people who can help you row. The problem in that is that even if you provide the boat, snacks, life-jacket, everything; it’s been my experience that it is still difficult to find those like-minded people to help you row. That’s been my experience of late, so I’ve decided to dock my boat elsewhere. If you see me sailing by and don’t mind rowing, feel free to wave me ashore. I can’t promise you smooth sailing, but what I can promise you is that I will never stop rowing. If you decide to stop rowing, I will row for you for a little while but then I may throw you overboard for being lazy.

Remember the commercial: I wanna be, I wanna be like Mike (Jordan that is). I never wanted to b like Mike, well maybe the rich part, but I’ve always just wanted to be me. Now, I still want to be me, just better. Don’t you want me to be better? I certainly want you to be better, because a better you is good for me. 🙂 What ails you?

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