Other duties as assigned.

Anyone who’s ever worked has seen this statement somewhere within a job description. It means, as defined in the Mendactical Dictionary, aside from what’s listed within this job description/paper, anything else that is told/requested of you. There are on rare occasions and I’m talking finding an original, signed Picasso encased in a frame built and signed by Jesus occasions that one can say, “that’s not in my job description” and it be ok.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day and I can honestly say, I forgot. Not intentionally and I did rebound, but I really did forget and I was so ok with forgetting. See, yesterday, one of the blessings God gave me graduated from college, so yesterday and all that it contained was ALL about him. After the ceremony, a young woman was walking through the crowd with a few remaining flower bouquets. Make an offer, even $1 she said, so I bought a bouquet of roses for $1 and they were nice; full of color and begging for a vase to bloom inside. I’d purchased a Mother’s Day card earlier, so my rebound was complete. I love my mother, grandmother and anyone who’s been a mother to me. As I read the FB posts and saw the varying displays of PDMA I reflected back on a sermon from February regarding service.

I remember seeing a clip of a movie with Sidney Poitier and in the movie he was arguing with his father. His father was going on and on about all the sacrifices he’d made for Sidney’s character. In a much heated debate, Sidney’s character told his father, and I’m paraphrasing… “whatever you did for me as a child/growing up is because that’s what you were supposed to do.” In the sermon, Luke 17: 7-10, it tells how after a servant has finished working, he doesn’t just sit down to eat, but first prepares his master’s meal before he eats his own. And he is not even thanked, for he is merely doing what he is supposed to do.

Getting your props, just due, accolades, etc. is nice and who doesn’t like praise, but when you really think about it and if you’re honest with yourself, do we really need a day to honor someone for doing something they were supposed to do? Some may say, oh, that is so negative, or she must not love her mother, or whatever reflector they choose to use against the truth. Be that as it may, I’m just theorizing here and this applies to the duty owed to those 18 and under. Over 18, nobody owes you anything.

Often there is talk of how a parent sacrificed and worked 2 jobs to put a roof over heads and food on the table, etc. Sorry, working 2 jobs is just fulfilling the duty by any means necessary. The choice is the sacrifice, for when you sacrifice you surrender something, give up something and it is usually by choice. Feeling a little offended? Ok, how about this, tipping. When we go to a restaurant and get your bill, there’s a line for a tip. I came in, ate and now when I’m ready to pay for what I ate, I should monetarily thank you for bringing me the food, being polite and the overall service? Isn’t that you’re employer’s job? Didn’t know that was in the customer job description. Ohhhh, this is extra, this is my sacrifice to you, I get it – other duties as assigned.

As harsh as it sounds and it took me a while to digest the sermon, the truth hurts. Lyrics in a song say for the 9 months I carried you, growing inside me, no charge. Umm you put me there so why should you have the expectation of being paid? Anything that was surrendered to benefit a child under the age of 18 was because it was a duty. Whatever is surrendered after the age of 18, you are allowed to expect it to be returned. “Find recognition in the sacrifice, not the acknowledgement of the sacrifice.” (S. Nelson)

Happy Best- insert job title-Ever Day!

Call me…

Ishmael. Mr. Tibbs. Sybil.

I think names are fascinating as they can give you insight into a person long before you ever meet them. My name seems to be a source of concern for many, as I am often asked about it, what it stands for and why I don’t use/like my SSN name. I honestly answer and say, I love my name. My name is personal and that means you may not do with it as you please. I’m amazed at the liberties people take when addressing someone. If your name is Elizabeth, how many times have people assumingly referred to you as Liz? Maybe only your friends, family call you Liz and heaven forbid if you correct them, oh, you don’t like to be called Liz. No, I’m actually ok with being called Liz, just not by you. We are not friends. Which leads me to today’s discussion of multiple personalities. That was some segway, right?

The world is a classroom and life is the teacher and for many of us, our course load consists of Acting 101. I take this class every day, matter of fact, I or the me that is required sometimes sub for the regular teacher. My friends and I seriously joke that we are but a signature away from acknowledging whatever un/diagnosed quirk, eccentricity, ism or disorder that has taken residence within our mobile, temporary classroom. I personally have at least 7 people living inside my head, none of whom should ever be licensed to carry a gun. Now before you go get all ADA offended on me let me explain. Those 7 or so people are just different versions of me and they emerge when needed. I am who I need to be, when I need to be them, for whomever needs me to be “them” for however long I need to be. Get it? When you really sit back and think about it, you too have 7 or so people living inside your head. Only you can decide if any should be licensed to carry a gun. Some people have parents, doctors, taxi drivers, bankers, etc. Others may have gardeners, counselors, fighters and rescuers. Regardless who you are, you’re bound to have someone other than the person reading this, reading this. The critic in you may be taking over as you digest every word. There are those of unicorn legend who oddly enough live alone. They are the ones who play the same role with everyone, everyday all day. They usually go by the name Jerk, Ass, or some other undesirable adjective that causes their government name to be replaced permanently.

I’m comfortable in my acting roles. I know my lines and stand ready for my cues. Occasionally I may flub a line or forget my place, but someone playing a judge is always standing by, waiting to correct me, to which the defense lawyer arises to do battle with the prosecutor while the bailiff observes, cautiously. At any give point and time, I’ve been all four within seconds of each other. Creepy when you break it down that way isn’t it. The next time you become engaged in any sort of circumstance/situation, notice how and how many times your personality changes to deal effectively with the circumstance/situation. Calling any customer service number will bring out a few mad hatters, sailors and prize fighters without much provocation.

All this brings me back to my name. I can hear and feel people’s reaction when I correct them for calling me by my government name when that privilege has not been bestowed upon them. Whenever I correct someone regarding my name, I know exactly who they are planning to call and Bitch, being the good southern host that she is, never fails to disappoint. Harmony is learning to get the jump on B, but she is so quick, gotta watch out for her. Tonight I’ve been a writer, a philosopher, a comedian, a smarty pants, a messenger, a customer, a sinner, a provider and a few other roles, headlining and supporting but through it all I have never once lost my sense of self. I know exactly who I am. I AM the I am I need to be when I am needed. As previously stated, I… AM the magnificent.

All my best,

Holly Golightly 🙂

Avon calling.

Hello Dear Friend,

I hope this letter finds you in a state that is most agreeable with you, your spirit and state of life. Yes, I know it’s been a while since we last spoke, but I’m writing to tell you of the happenings in my life. I cannot tell you how busy and hectic it has become. Please know that I am no slacker and I take my work (writing) very seriously. I will post no reason or rhyme before its time. 🙂 Splitting care-giver duties while maintaining my obligation to God, self and Social Security has left me with additional page filled notebooks, empty ink pens, pencils down to the metal but little time to share. Today, I offer you my most sincerest apologies and will make an effort to do better. In the meantime, please enjoy this small gift, as a token of my appreciation for your continued support.

Always, your friend in pen,


In my book Thread for Mending a Broken Soul, I wrote a passage about “They”. You know those sayings that are preceded with ‘well you know what they say’. I was always perplexed by the statement because as a child growing up, I wanted to know who “they” were because “they” seemed to know everything.

“They” say, it’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game. Well, what if you never really knew how to play? As for winning and losing, baseball dispels this theory with each replacement of a pitcher. It is the only profession where multiple people can be fired and replaced on the spot, and in public view no less.

“They” say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Actually, Nietzsche said this, but did he consider Newton’s Third Law ‘to every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction’. While circumstances, trials and tribulations make us strong in some, if not all areas/aspects of life, what has been weakened as a result of us having auditioned for the role of Atlas? (who by the way held up the sky, not the earth – but still a hard job).

“They” say, sticks and stones may break my bones but words/names will never hurt me. “They” need to tell that to all the people who suffer from verbal assault and abuse.

“They” say, in America, there are 3 things you never discuss/talk about: Money/Sex (depending on whose doing the talking), Politics and Religion. I’m guessing the reason “They” say this is because when it comes to politics and religion, “They” are so busy trying to convince the listener that he/she is wrong for their choice. As for money, people may not know exactly how much a person makes, but you can pretty much (but not always – keep that in mind) surmise the tax bracket a person may fall in if you interact with them enough to see the fruits of their labor. As for sex, well, if you are having it, do you really need to talk about it and if you aren’t, do you really want to talk about it?

“They” said and still say lots of things. I’ve always shied away from “They” because I don’t know them so I can’t be sure their repository of knowledge is legit. For all I know, “They” could be like me or you, someone who has the gift of word manipulation, a Shakespearean Jim Jones, ladling up all the literary Kool-Aid one can drink.