“And I know that He had something better to do
Than to sit and listen to a brokenhearted fool
Could’ve been saving the world from a tragedy
But instead He was listening to me” (MJB – Empty Prayers)
This is NOT a soapbox moment, just a hmm, never thought about it that way moment.
I try to find the God/good/joy in everything. I Try. I don’t always succeed because most of the time I’m in my own way, in my own world, wanting to see things the way I want them to be; but even if you don’t believe, we all know that rarely do things look and act the way we want them too. City of Angels, The Adjustment Bureau, — somebody give me another one Saving Grace– movies/TV shows where angelic, celestial, heavenly body creatures masquerading as and interacting with humans all stated the same thing – we humans have FREE WILL, something they cannot interfere with. It’s sorta messed up when you really examine it. There’s a plan for me today. Plan calls for me to eat oatmeal. I get up and eat cereal instead. I felt that I was supposed to eat oatmeal but I was running late. Now when I was eating that cereal, somebody/something was there, watching me eat that cereal, shaking its head because I exercised my free will to eat cereal instead of oatmeal. The shaking of the head is justified because the plan called for oatmeal because it was written that I would have a long day and would not be able to eat around the time I normally did, thus, the oatmeal would sustain me and prevent me from developing a hunger headache – y’all know the kind I’m talking about. As simple as my example is, I think it drives home my point.
We all have Free Will and how and when we chose to exercise it is completely up to us. When the exercise and implementation of Free Will is about to commence, those heavenly/celestial creatures jump back like Cliff Huxtable – hands off, I don’t have nothing to do with what’s about to go down – but I’ll be here to help you through the mess. I rarely read or listen to the news because it is so tragic but that is the state of our society, tragic. I have never lost someone to violence, so I do not and will not for one minute try to say what I would do or how I would feel. I am but an outsider looking in, like the rest of the world, who often asks ourselves, as we stand on the sidewalks and behind cars and around TV screens watching the results of another’s Free Will, where was God?
Maybe like MJB said, He was listening…
to a brokenhearted fool,
a sinner confessing,
a priest, rabbi or pastor bestowing a blessing.
Maybe He was sitting bedside at some hospital, nursing home or hospice. Maybe He was in the middle of the desert watching others exercise the appointed Free Will of another, or maybe, just maybe, He was there and there. Right there, watching. Watching that tragedy unfurl, because He dare not interfere with Free Will. He had nothing better to do because to Him, there is nothing better than listening, comforting and protecting His greatest creation; even if it’s not in the way we think it should be. We humans today are a bit haughty. We have a sense of entitlement and some have it more than others. I know. I’ve asked God where He was and why He let my loved one die, when I needed them. I kept asking but He would never answer me. Then one day, I answered my own question.
Who am I, that I should ask Him to spare that which I love most, when no one did it for Him. What happened to Jesus back then would be considered bullying today. We all need to stop bullying; each other and God.
I stopped asking Him where He was when tragic things happen here on earth because I’m fearful of the day when He will ask the same question of me. Fearful He will question my use of Free Will and point out, matter-of-factly that the exercising of my Free Will is not only my responsibility but yours as well and vice versa (we are our brother’s keeper!) and so to that I will say, if you believe, and I hope you do, or even if you don’t believe, be responsible with your Free Will because I AM NOT going down for you!
“Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me” (The Fray)