If your life is held together with spit and a half a piece of gum, then prepare for that sucker to crumble like feta. Life for me is like a roadster – room for 2 only. Metaphorically speaking of course, I have plenty of room in my life for others but I am quite persnickety about who enters my realm. You’ve got a better chance of getting into Buckingham Palace than you have in getting in my life. I’m funny, oh it’s true, just ask Tracy of Jennifer. I’m funny but I’m a friend for life (if your Chi is right. No Chi, No E!) I think my alter ego is Yosemite Sam. He has the best temperament when he gets upset. I wish I could be so brave, but we have these rules and people tend to frown upon such behavior (eyes rolling). Or better still, Rat from Pearls before Swine. Love that guy. There was this one strip where he would do a long ski jump look (you know the one where you just stare straight ahead, stiff bodied) every time somebody said something stupid or what he thought was stupid. Man, I would be in a constant state of ski jump look. Or even Danae from Non-Sequitur, THAT little girl just rules, kid after my own heart. So I guess that leads to the question, who am I? Answer, whoever I’m required to be at the time required. People ask me, what’s your real name, what does EJ stand for – why? Are you going to do Ancestery.com to see if we’re related or are you just asking because you’re nosey? We ARE NOT friends, call me by what I introduced myself to you as, not what you heard someone else call me. Who do you think you are? I don’t say a lot, but my face, it betrays me often. I try to talk to it, but it just blows me off. Sorry, my ADD kicked in and I got off track, forgive me. Roadster, yes. Seems now, I don’t even need that extra seat because I’ve been forsaken. Taylor Swift-ed. Left out in BFE with no H2O. It’s all good, things happen. I don’t eat feta but when you’re starving, left-out, leftover fish is quite appetizing. Beware loose lips lacing promises of … Guess I’ll get me a dog. At least then I’ll be the one to do the forsaking. Who am I? I… am alone but in the words of Mary J., I’ll be JUST FINE FINE FINE FINE FINE FINE HOOOOO.